What a pain...

I sometimes wonder why I insisted on doing certain things when I was younger. In reality, I was not at all mellow or laid back, as much as I might have protested at the time. I worked hard at work and at home although I never consider myself as a particularly driven fellow.

Of course, Martha and I were married and had a baby when we were in our earliest twenties. Both she and I felt we had to be responsible, sensible, capable.

And I was raised to be a multi-tasker. My father died when I was 13 and my mother worked and eventually went to college at night so I had school, cooking, child caring, housekeeping chores from an early age.

Whether at work or at home, it never occurred to me to sit back after accomplishing a task and enjoy the moment. I could always think of ten other chores that should be tackled next. When one was finished it was set aside so the next job could become my focus.

And I had anger issues. It took me years to figure out that I was angry at my father for dying and leaving us even though I knew he didn’t contribute directly to that nor did he wish to die young. The things you eventually learn!

So what a pain in the ass I must have been as a younger guy. And I suppose I still am. Insight into my own self being a general failing of mine.