Monday, April 25, 2011

Hello


When I say “Hello” some people, usually young people but not always, say “Hey”. It leaves me cold. Remember your mother chastising you that “Hay is for horses” or something like that. Is “Hello” so much more difficult to say. And we already have “Hi”. What’s the problem with that? A friend suggests that “Hey” is short for “Hey you”. Still leaves me cold. Sort of the way LOL makes me feel when texting.

As I ride my bike around America I usually say hello to people I pass or people coming the other way. Most say hello back. Two groups that never do: the stick thin semi-pro bicycle riders hunched over their handlebars traveling at 30 miles per hour in their little black one piece suits with the pain of their existence visible on their faces. After all, using breath to say hello might slow them down just enough not to set a new personal best for this run. And besides, I can see them think, you’re not a real bicycle rider. You are beneath me, a mere casual, conversational rider out for a spin, while I am preparing for the Tour du France or something similar in my mind.

The others unable to break off and say hello are the family members embroiled in the bicycling dispute of the day. Dad rented bicycles, money that could have been used to take mother out to eat. Mother is angry. Dad wants to bicycle around the island. Mother hasn’t bicycled since fourth grade. She wonders what’s wrong with the car. Doesn’t she do enough every day, picking up after his skinny ass, without this crap. Where are we going? It’s hot you know. I have to get back and make supper! God, now this old man flies by saying hello. I’ll give you a smack if you don’t shut up! Oops, oops, I’m going off the path…

Hello.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Burning the Koran


I have no idea how many bibles have been burned by crazy people over the years. I do remember evangelical nuts being imprisoned in Middle Eastern countries for bringing bibles into those places. If I was told of a bible burning, I would conclude the burner was a nut. I would not feel compelled to kill innocent people sent to my country to help get us out of the middle ages because some lunatic in Florida with the look of a thug burned a Koran.

The proper response, I think, would be for those Afghani nitwits to burn a bible. Tit for tat. I thought they were good at that. How about all those beheadings and stonings and hands being cut off? Killing innocent people is an indication of just how uncivilized these people we are supposedly helping really are. There is something, I think, deeply, darkly wrong with Islam, some Muslims and Middle Eastern tribe members in general. Constantly excusing this fact is a mistake.

I have no good explanation for why we are fighting in Afghanistan. Clearly, many Afghanis don’t think we should be there. Let’s bring our troops home and let the Afghanis fend for themselves. I’m sure it will continue to be a sad, backward, unlucky place.