Once again, Grandpa takes it in the ear!

My daughter Jessica, having sold her house and getting set to move, asked if I would come down and babysit for her kids while she went to Dallas to look at houses with her husband. I wasn’t sure I had enough frequent flyer miles to do it again. I am actually still using up miles that Martha had earned when she traveled to D.C. several times a month for her company.

Turns out I did have enough so I scheduled my flights and told Jess. She, in turn, spoke with her children to let them know that I would be coming to watch them while she went to Dallas.

Molly and Lillian said they understood. Olivia, the youngest, said, “Are you sure you want to leave us with him?”

I look like what?

So I went to get my hair cut while I was in Hilton Head. When he was finishing, the young barber said, “I’ll guess you’re a biker.” I was so surprised I replied, “You mean like a motorcycle guy? Why would you think that?” Remember this is happening to the mild mannered, retired LIBRARIAN!

He said, “Well you have such a severe look!” Severe look! What does that even mean. Here I am, one of the gentlest, most reserved, socially backward folks on earth. I am the guy my youngest granddaughter awakens in the morning by yelling “It’s on, Buddy!” just as she lands on my head!

Some barbers are not very good judges of character.

Grandpa's not too bright...

Daughter Jessica and I were leading the troops on a forced march to the beach one pleasant evening last week on Hilton Head Island.

As we started down the sandy path through the scrub pines, Olivia, the youngest, stopped and asked to be picked up. I asked in turn, as a grandfather is required to do, if her legs were broken. She told me she had spotted a dreaded red ant and she needed to be carried so she wouldn’t be bitten.

I told her there were no red ants in that path and, besides, what’s the worst that could happen if she was bitten by one. Well, she said, “I would be dead for the rest of my life, that’s all”. From one red ant bite I asked incredulous. “Yes, of course. Don’t you know anything”? “How do you come to believe that”, I wondered out loud?

“From the Internet”, she answered, “which is much smarter than you are”. Son of a gun, nailed again by a six year old with a bad attitude!

The Odd One

My granddaughters were sitting with their mother at the supper table and Molly, the oldest, was talking about the family of one of her friends when she said she thought that family was a little odd but then all families were probably odd.

Jessica asked Olivia, the youngest, if she thought her family was odd. She said no immediately. Then paused and considered and added, “Well, except for Grandpa Joe”!

The Class Reunion

My 45th high school class reunion is this June. I have only ever attended one, my 20th. That party was way too noisy to really talk, which I had mistakenly thought might be the point after not seeing certain people for years. There was a band or disc jockey and, wow, it was loud. Martha and I finally called it a night and went to bed fairly early.

The other thing I noticed was that many people were still living in the home town and knew each other well. They tended to stick together. Some of the old groups from high school got right back together like no time had intervened. It was no easier trying to talk to people at the 20th reunion than it had been at a social in high school!

Martha, by the way, never expressed any interest in attending a reunion which, now that I think about it, seems a little odd to me. She was a Majorette, after all, very popular and had wonderful friends all through high school.

A lot happened to me in high school but mostly I got through that period fairly oblivious to the things high schoolers tend to dwell on. I too had good friends and, I guess, if I knew certain folks were planning to attend that might push me in the direction of attending.

But, at the moment, I’m sort of unsure. I have never lived in the old home town since my second year in college although I do go back regularly as my two brothers live there. I haven’t seen anyone I knew in high school for many years. A few of us have taken to communicating via Facebook recently and I enjoy that.

I know some people will be traveling long distances to attend. It seems silly, since I’m only a 100 miles or so away from the site of the event, not to attend. Anyone have any advice?

Once again we abandon common sense

I watched a CNN news report this morning about a grandmother charged with "domestic abuse" for smacking her "mouthy" 18 year old granddaughter who was using the F word in front of her in regard to the family.

Grandma spent the night in jail and will be prosecuted despite the granddaughter's change of heart in attempting to drop the charges. The police claim they have no discretion in the matter of "domestic" abuse charges.

After slapping the granddaughter, grandma was slapped back by the granddaughter who left the room and called the police. Where I come from someone from the family would have been called to mediate the matter and the whole sordid business considered a draw. The granddaughter, by the way, had just been expelled from High School for the same type of behavior.

Even on vacation, the news can sometimes cause me to despair for our society.