Did I ever mention that I hate squirrels? Yes, as a matter of fact I have. As comedian Jeff Stilson implied, they are just rats with bushy tales. At my old homestead in New Hampshire I once attempted to remove as many squirrels as possible from my bird feeders by trapping them in Have-A-Heart traps and relocating them to a charming squirrel preserve on my way to work.
An environmentalist wrote to the local weekly paper that I was “creating a void in the natural world” if you can believe it. Needless to say, I stopped, simply because it sounded like such a terrible thing to be doing.
But I do hate the little bastards. This winter I, once again, put seed out for birds. I maintain three BIRD feeders in my yard along with half a dozen bird houses. I have no squirrel feeders. Perhaps I need a sign. Besides stealing my seed, the squirrels are quite destructive. They will actually chew and scratch away wood to gain entrance to the eaves of the house or to get into the barn or even to enter a big birdhouse. They will knock a bird feeder down that doesn’t give up the seed easily to them and break it up on the ground.
The mother of a friend used to collect the acorns in the fall and keep them in a basket by her chair next to the window. When she saw the squirrels make an assault on her bird feeders she would use her sling shot to pummel them with acorns. She was a good shot! It was a very effective remedy and lots of fun. Sound environmentalism. No squirrels were actually killed or badly injured during this exercise. But the feeders went weeks without attack.
My neighbor across the street is even more draconian. He has a garbage barrel under his feeders. The pole from an old broom is draped across the top opening and held on the top by the barrel’s handles. When a squirrel jumps up on top of the barrel said squirrel attempts to travel across the pole to get at the feeders. The pole then spins and neatly drops the squirrel into the water filling most of the barrel. Drowning ensues. Unfortunately, I can’t bring myself to set up such a system in my yard. I mean, what does one do with drowned squirrel exactly? I have enough of a moral dilemma getting rid of the mice I kill, but that’s another story.
I took to putting red pepper in my bird seed early in the winter. For a while it seemed to discourage some squirrels. The birds didn’t seem to notice. But as winter progressed the effect seemed to wear off. I bought an expensive bird feeder that closes and flings the squirrels to the ground when they mount it. I find it amusing but I can’t afford more than one.
I own a lovely flat feeder that I’m told attracts different birds. I placed it atop a tall pole. The squirrels climbed the pole despite the squirrel baffle and the grease and ate all the seed, then sat triumphantly on the top and gloated.
Today, a squirrel attempted to climb one of my windows to get at a small feeder attached by suction cups. Each time it slid to the bottom sill scratching wildly at the glass. Does home owners insurance reimburse for such a thing?
Sunday, February 28, 2010
For crying out loud, pick one.
Conditions for outdoor competitions at the Vancouver Olympic Games have been just awful. No natural snow meant trucking in huge quantities long distances. That must have been a real carbon deficient situation.
The temperatures have been warmer than needed and the rain never stopped. The fog has been unbelievable. The snow conditions have been slushy and dangerous. There have been unnecessary crashes and injuries.
I understand that the International Olympic Committee selects different sites for these games in order to make good money and good politics. What I don’t understand is why fans don’t insist that they pick a permanent location based on available conditions and amenities and let it go at that. Then different nations could be named as the host nation every four years but the games could always be held under close to ideal conditions.
Staging these games is so monumentally expensive I’m surprised any nation or community is still interested. And, with few exceptions, these expensive facilities are never fully used again and fall into disrepair. Especially in places, like Vancouver, where they are placed in climates inappropriate for their use in the first place.
Selecting Vancouver, with its usually mild temperatures in the winter and copious amounts of rain, was just plain stupid. I’m surprised more fans and competitors have not complained loudly.
The temperatures have been warmer than needed and the rain never stopped. The fog has been unbelievable. The snow conditions have been slushy and dangerous. There have been unnecessary crashes and injuries.
I understand that the International Olympic Committee selects different sites for these games in order to make good money and good politics. What I don’t understand is why fans don’t insist that they pick a permanent location based on available conditions and amenities and let it go at that. Then different nations could be named as the host nation every four years but the games could always be held under close to ideal conditions.
Staging these games is so monumentally expensive I’m surprised any nation or community is still interested. And, with few exceptions, these expensive facilities are never fully used again and fall into disrepair. Especially in places, like Vancouver, where they are placed in climates inappropriate for their use in the first place.
Selecting Vancouver, with its usually mild temperatures in the winter and copious amounts of rain, was just plain stupid. I’m surprised more fans and competitors have not complained loudly.
Monday, February 22, 2010
The poor, poor burdened economy
Editor’s Note: This is a personal, political rant, part two, hopefully the last. If you are at all squeamish or a Republican, DO NOT READ THIS! If you are conservative, but open minded, you could attempt to read it, but I’m telling you now you won’t be happy. Some of you didn't pay attention to the earlier warning and have developed dangerous nervous tics as a result! On the other hand, there is no foul language.
In response to the need to do almost anything domestically many politicians, including all Republicans, always say we must conduct public policy, “in ways that don’t burden the economy.” Tax cuts for the wealthy apparently don’t burden the economy for the majority, in their view.
They say this about anything reasonable like an affordable health insurance system for all Americans, or energy efficiencies, or clean air policies. Why not burden the economy exactly? Everything else is burdened. I’m burdened with taxes and so are you. The public schools are burdened with knuckleheads who should be expelled. The hospitals are burdened with uninsured sick people. We are all burdened with two wars of dubious value to our future security and economic stability.
Where did this exemption come from? Is the economy not supposed to be part of the world we live in? Why exactly can’t it be burdened?
Currently, perfectly profitable companies are laying people off or moving facilities to Mexico and India. How’s the quality control in Mexico? How many Indians does it take to people a call center and mumble in English? Some companies are laying people off and moving facilities because when they announce such moves their stock skyrockets and the management profits handsomely. Later, they reassess and in some cases conclude an error was made by previous management. The stock flies high again! You can’t lose.
Does anyone suggest that the economy, DBA this company or that, is burdening the rest of us with layoffs and foreign moves?
Supporters of the Iraq war sometimes say, “Now that we are there, regardless of the original justifications, the fabled WMDs, we can’t leave until Iraq has a working democracy and a strong economy.” But we can destroy both systems at home while attempting to accomplish this in a geographic region the British fabricated in order to escape from. What benevolence.
So, the economy isn’t unnecessarily burdened by spending billions to help the Iraqis and the Afghan people but it would be if charged to help our own with health care and jobs and clean energy. I’m slow but I think I’m getting it.
In response to the need to do almost anything domestically many politicians, including all Republicans, always say we must conduct public policy, “in ways that don’t burden the economy.” Tax cuts for the wealthy apparently don’t burden the economy for the majority, in their view.
They say this about anything reasonable like an affordable health insurance system for all Americans, or energy efficiencies, or clean air policies. Why not burden the economy exactly? Everything else is burdened. I’m burdened with taxes and so are you. The public schools are burdened with knuckleheads who should be expelled. The hospitals are burdened with uninsured sick people. We are all burdened with two wars of dubious value to our future security and economic stability.
Where did this exemption come from? Is the economy not supposed to be part of the world we live in? Why exactly can’t it be burdened?
Currently, perfectly profitable companies are laying people off or moving facilities to Mexico and India. How’s the quality control in Mexico? How many Indians does it take to people a call center and mumble in English? Some companies are laying people off and moving facilities because when they announce such moves their stock skyrockets and the management profits handsomely. Later, they reassess and in some cases conclude an error was made by previous management. The stock flies high again! You can’t lose.
Does anyone suggest that the economy, DBA this company or that, is burdening the rest of us with layoffs and foreign moves?
Supporters of the Iraq war sometimes say, “Now that we are there, regardless of the original justifications, the fabled WMDs, we can’t leave until Iraq has a working democracy and a strong economy.” But we can destroy both systems at home while attempting to accomplish this in a geographic region the British fabricated in order to escape from. What benevolence.
So, the economy isn’t unnecessarily burdened by spending billions to help the Iraqis and the Afghan people but it would be if charged to help our own with health care and jobs and clean energy. I’m slow but I think I’m getting it.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Are Democrats too gentle, too thoughtful, too chicken to govern.
Editor’s Note: This is a personal, political rant. If you are at all squeamish or a Republican, DO NOT READ THIS! If you are conservative, but open minded, you could attempt to read it, but I’m telling you now you won’t be happy. On the other hand, there is no foul language.
Republicans don’t seem to have any difficulty slamming the Democrats. They don’t seem to have any problem with working the story to their advantage. Shouting at the President in Congress.
Do you remember Weapons of Mass Destruction? Cheney is still claiming Bush didn’t lie. Have you ever heard a more bitter, unrepentant, former Vice-President? We didn’t need torture to beat the Germans or the Japanese. But we needed it, in Cheney’s view, to beat a group of religious maniacs based in caves in the most God-forsaken part of the world. Is it his legacy or Bush’s he is trying to justify? Who, exactly, was the last Republican President?
The Republican theory seems to be if you say something over and over again, regardless of its bearing to the truth or how hateful it is, people will come to accept it as true. I think they may be correct on that score.
Let’s reflect for a moment on “Mission Accomplished”! The same crew that told us the war in Iraq would take minutes to complete, the citizens of Iraq would be so grateful to us they would give us free oil and their free oil would pay for the war, are still advising the Republicans, right Mr. Kristol? They just say, given what we knew at the time… They apparently didn’t know much then. What makes people think they know anything today?
Remember too, Republicans are the Party of fiscal conservatism. Did Bush balance the Federal budget? Did Reagan? That’s right, poor old Clinton did, when he wasn’t busy with other opportunities. Reagan’s budget deficit was a higher percentage of GDP than Obama’s will be and Obama faced a depression. But Reagan is put up to school children in textbooks in Texas as the God of fiscal conservatism.
And that potential depression, was it brought on by, you guessed it, a Republican administration? Larry the Cable Guy knew, as President, all he had to do was cut taxes on the wealthy. How did that work out for everyone else, Mrs. Palin?
Didn’t all the Republicans vote for the Stimulus Package? Haven’t they all accepted the money in their states and appeared at the check passing ceremonies. Can one really have one’s cake and eat it too? If a hypocrite yells long enough, does that make him less of a hypocrite?
Cheney says we shouldn’t have treated the Christmas Day potential underwear bomber/complete idiot the way we did. But he treated the shoe bomber exactly the same way. Shouldn’t someone point that out to him. Oh, he knows? He’s just trying to make some political points. Is the Christmas Day guy talking to beat the band? Yes. Did anyone torture him? No. They brought his family over from Nigeria to talk to him.
How many terrorists did we try in Federal Courts that resulted in convictions during the last Republican Administration: the guy who headed up the first World Trade Center bombing and dozens of others. Does our justice system work? Apparently. Why shouldn’t we again demonstrate that to the world?
Democrats have a majority in both houses of Congress and the Oval Office. They should pass health care and any other damned bill they think would be good for the country. I say to Hell with bipartisanship! I don’t hear a single Republican in Congress asking for bi-partisanship. It’s their way or the highway!
Several Democrats are retiring because they hate the tone in Congress. As far as I can tell the only loud tone being set in Washington is by the likes of Sarah Palin, Anne Coulter and the Teabaggers and their Congressional followers. Why can’t Democrats give as good as they get?
I think Democrats need to stand up! I’m told the middle class is concerned about the effort to gain health care insurance for all and the federal deficits. May I remind you that the only reason we have a middle class in America today is because of FDR, who was, of course, a Democrat. A guy who faced just as determined a group of lunatic, 19th century Know Nothings as we face today. But he got the job done.
Strangely, I feel better. I think I’ll write something simple on my hand.
Republicans don’t seem to have any difficulty slamming the Democrats. They don’t seem to have any problem with working the story to their advantage. Shouting at the President in Congress.
Do you remember Weapons of Mass Destruction? Cheney is still claiming Bush didn’t lie. Have you ever heard a more bitter, unrepentant, former Vice-President? We didn’t need torture to beat the Germans or the Japanese. But we needed it, in Cheney’s view, to beat a group of religious maniacs based in caves in the most God-forsaken part of the world. Is it his legacy or Bush’s he is trying to justify? Who, exactly, was the last Republican President?
The Republican theory seems to be if you say something over and over again, regardless of its bearing to the truth or how hateful it is, people will come to accept it as true. I think they may be correct on that score.
Let’s reflect for a moment on “Mission Accomplished”! The same crew that told us the war in Iraq would take minutes to complete, the citizens of Iraq would be so grateful to us they would give us free oil and their free oil would pay for the war, are still advising the Republicans, right Mr. Kristol? They just say, given what we knew at the time… They apparently didn’t know much then. What makes people think they know anything today?
Remember too, Republicans are the Party of fiscal conservatism. Did Bush balance the Federal budget? Did Reagan? That’s right, poor old Clinton did, when he wasn’t busy with other opportunities. Reagan’s budget deficit was a higher percentage of GDP than Obama’s will be and Obama faced a depression. But Reagan is put up to school children in textbooks in Texas as the God of fiscal conservatism.
And that potential depression, was it brought on by, you guessed it, a Republican administration? Larry the Cable Guy knew, as President, all he had to do was cut taxes on the wealthy. How did that work out for everyone else, Mrs. Palin?
Didn’t all the Republicans vote for the Stimulus Package? Haven’t they all accepted the money in their states and appeared at the check passing ceremonies. Can one really have one’s cake and eat it too? If a hypocrite yells long enough, does that make him less of a hypocrite?
Cheney says we shouldn’t have treated the Christmas Day potential underwear bomber/complete idiot the way we did. But he treated the shoe bomber exactly the same way. Shouldn’t someone point that out to him. Oh, he knows? He’s just trying to make some political points. Is the Christmas Day guy talking to beat the band? Yes. Did anyone torture him? No. They brought his family over from Nigeria to talk to him.
How many terrorists did we try in Federal Courts that resulted in convictions during the last Republican Administration: the guy who headed up the first World Trade Center bombing and dozens of others. Does our justice system work? Apparently. Why shouldn’t we again demonstrate that to the world?
Democrats have a majority in both houses of Congress and the Oval Office. They should pass health care and any other damned bill they think would be good for the country. I say to Hell with bipartisanship! I don’t hear a single Republican in Congress asking for bi-partisanship. It’s their way or the highway!
Several Democrats are retiring because they hate the tone in Congress. As far as I can tell the only loud tone being set in Washington is by the likes of Sarah Palin, Anne Coulter and the Teabaggers and their Congressional followers. Why can’t Democrats give as good as they get?
I think Democrats need to stand up! I’m told the middle class is concerned about the effort to gain health care insurance for all and the federal deficits. May I remind you that the only reason we have a middle class in America today is because of FDR, who was, of course, a Democrat. A guy who faced just as determined a group of lunatic, 19th century Know Nothings as we face today. But he got the job done.
Strangely, I feel better. I think I’ll write something simple on my hand.
Elvis has left the building
Michael Jackson’s personal physician has been charged with a crime. I don’t doubt he committed one. Who puts a drug used only in surgical settings in a hospital into a guy’s arm so he might sleep in his bed at home?
But do you think for a minute that someone other than Michael Jackson killed Michael Jackson? Who killed Elvis? Who killed Howard Hughes? Would you seriously suggest that any dopey, crazy, drug addicted rich person who wanted something injected into their systems couldn’t get it done?
But do you think for a minute that someone other than Michael Jackson killed Michael Jackson? Who killed Elvis? Who killed Howard Hughes? Would you seriously suggest that any dopey, crazy, drug addicted rich person who wanted something injected into their systems couldn’t get it done?
Friday, February 12, 2010
The American House of Lords
I’m trying to figure out why we shouldn’t demand that the U.S. Senate actually work for a living? A friend has suggested that they conduct themselves as our de facto House of Lords.
It occurred to me just how lazy Senators are when I was told that they don’t actually have to filibuster against a bill they disagree with, they can just suggest they will! How many mornings would you have loved to suggest to your employer that you intended to go to work but didn’t actually go and it still counted!
If they want to filibuster, they should do it. Don’t just threaten it and then go play racquetball. This job is apparently so easy that elderly people stay in it for decades. If it was a difficult job, perhaps there would be some turnover. It appears that their work consists entirely of shooting their mouths off and then listening to other Senators shooting their mouths off. No heavy lifting required.
We could demand some work by telling them to actually filibuster if they are inclined.
It occurred to me just how lazy Senators are when I was told that they don’t actually have to filibuster against a bill they disagree with, they can just suggest they will! How many mornings would you have loved to suggest to your employer that you intended to go to work but didn’t actually go and it still counted!
If they want to filibuster, they should do it. Don’t just threaten it and then go play racquetball. This job is apparently so easy that elderly people stay in it for decades. If it was a difficult job, perhaps there would be some turnover. It appears that their work consists entirely of shooting their mouths off and then listening to other Senators shooting their mouths off. No heavy lifting required.
We could demand some work by telling them to actually filibuster if they are inclined.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The War on Drugs, part two
So let’s assume I’m a heroin addict in England. As I understand it, I go to my doctor, inform him or her and get a prescription for my drug at a very reasonable price. I also agree to consider some activities that might help me to stop being a heroin addict. Whether I do this immediately or not is up to me.
I do not have to break into all my neighbor’s homes to steal all their valuable possessions for which a pawn shop owner gives me ten percent of their value so I can buy heroin priced higher than necessary on the illegal market. Such an approach eliminates most of the criminal element from what is basically a health matter. The government also gets to stop wasting billions of dollars on the War on Drugs which is about as winnable as the War on Poverty and the War in Afghanistan!
So let’s review: making this change would stop a tremendous amount of crime, provide information for the drug addict to stop harmful behavior if inclined and save our government enough money to pay for a single payer health insurance system, my preference.
And I could go back to buying my razors off the shelf!
I do not have to break into all my neighbor’s homes to steal all their valuable possessions for which a pawn shop owner gives me ten percent of their value so I can buy heroin priced higher than necessary on the illegal market. Such an approach eliminates most of the criminal element from what is basically a health matter. The government also gets to stop wasting billions of dollars on the War on Drugs which is about as winnable as the War on Poverty and the War in Afghanistan!
So let’s review: making this change would stop a tremendous amount of crime, provide information for the drug addict to stop harmful behavior if inclined and save our government enough money to pay for a single payer health insurance system, my preference.
And I could go back to buying my razors off the shelf!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The War on Drugs
I had razor blades on my list during my visit to the supermarket yesterday. I no longer shave every day. It’s one of the great joys of retirement. But each week there are occasions when I want to appear clean shaven, except for the white goatee. And for the shave I obviously need razor blades.
I collected my groceries and then went looking for the razor blades. Couldn’t find them. I found the razors but no blades. Finally, I spied, yes I did, a small sign that said the razor blades were available at the Service Desk. Huh. Why? I knew you had to go there to get the antihistamines when you had a cold. That had to do with drug abuse somehow. But razor blades?
I looked over at the Service Desk and saw that there were just two guys in the line. How long could it take? Well, not unlike the Post Office, practically forever.
One guy was cashing his pay check. Muslim terrorists would not have been more thoroughly interrogated. He produced all the paperwork. Then he needed several checks cut to pay his bills. Then he wanted $77 worth of lottery tickets. Right, $77! Some of this one, some of that one. The lady behind the counter called for help as our line surged past the front door.
The second lady appeared quickly and began helping the second guy. Believe it or not, he had checks but was paying certain bills with them at the Service Desk. What was he saving? The cost of three stamps? For spending half an hour in line? What was he, Russian or something?
Finally, the first guy shuffled off clutching his lottery tickets and the vain hope he was a big winner. I asked for my razor blades. The lady demanded I pay for them at the Service Desk. I thought she was kidding. What is the problem with razor blades, I asked?
She told me that they are stolen with regularity and sold for half price in poorer neighborhoods by, you guessed it, drug addicts looking for cash for a fix. So all of us will have to stand in line so we can get a clean shave and fight the war on drugs.
I finally left the store and headed to the Post Office. You guessed it. The first guy in line from the store was there ahead of me and mailing out his bill payments one at a time and arguing about every postage stamp with the clerk. I went home and decided to grow a beard!
I collected my groceries and then went looking for the razor blades. Couldn’t find them. I found the razors but no blades. Finally, I spied, yes I did, a small sign that said the razor blades were available at the Service Desk. Huh. Why? I knew you had to go there to get the antihistamines when you had a cold. That had to do with drug abuse somehow. But razor blades?
I looked over at the Service Desk and saw that there were just two guys in the line. How long could it take? Well, not unlike the Post Office, practically forever.
One guy was cashing his pay check. Muslim terrorists would not have been more thoroughly interrogated. He produced all the paperwork. Then he needed several checks cut to pay his bills. Then he wanted $77 worth of lottery tickets. Right, $77! Some of this one, some of that one. The lady behind the counter called for help as our line surged past the front door.
The second lady appeared quickly and began helping the second guy. Believe it or not, he had checks but was paying certain bills with them at the Service Desk. What was he saving? The cost of three stamps? For spending half an hour in line? What was he, Russian or something?
Finally, the first guy shuffled off clutching his lottery tickets and the vain hope he was a big winner. I asked for my razor blades. The lady demanded I pay for them at the Service Desk. I thought she was kidding. What is the problem with razor blades, I asked?
She told me that they are stolen with regularity and sold for half price in poorer neighborhoods by, you guessed it, drug addicts looking for cash for a fix. So all of us will have to stand in line so we can get a clean shave and fight the war on drugs.
I finally left the store and headed to the Post Office. You guessed it. The first guy in line from the store was there ahead of me and mailing out his bill payments one at a time and arguing about every postage stamp with the clerk. I went home and decided to grow a beard!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Where does it come from?
I am often completely stymied and, yes, here I am again. I cleaned (dusted, Swiffered the floors, vacuumed) before I left for skiing last week. I was away for the week. No one that I know of was here in the interim to make dust or dirt.
I have only been back five days. I walked through the dining room yesterday and the sunlight hit my beautiful hard wood floor and I saw that it was covered with dust and dust bunnies. Somewhere, probably Reader’s Digest at the dentist, I read that most of this dust is made up of discarded human skin cells. So who are these people living in my house unbeknown to me and discarding all this skin? Are there dozens of them? We never seem to run into each other. I don’t hear anyone! Is this what aliens actually do to upset the balance of the universe?
There are five people living in my daughter’s house including three little girls. And an old cat and an occasional guinea pig. You would expect that house would require regular, thorough cleaning. In fact, my daughter tells me, it cannot be left to a weekly cleaning but, in large measure, must be tackled every single day!
But I live here quietly and mostly by myself. I’m not a slob. I rarely spill much, if anything at all. And I always clean up after myself. I’m sort of fastidious if anything. I think I thought for almost forty years that most of the dust must have been my dear late wife’s fault. She was always moving, rarely sat for any periods of note, and always cooking up a storm. Does cooking cause dust?
So help me here: where o where does all this bloody dust come from?
I have only been back five days. I walked through the dining room yesterday and the sunlight hit my beautiful hard wood floor and I saw that it was covered with dust and dust bunnies. Somewhere, probably Reader’s Digest at the dentist, I read that most of this dust is made up of discarded human skin cells. So who are these people living in my house unbeknown to me and discarding all this skin? Are there dozens of them? We never seem to run into each other. I don’t hear anyone! Is this what aliens actually do to upset the balance of the universe?
There are five people living in my daughter’s house including three little girls. And an old cat and an occasional guinea pig. You would expect that house would require regular, thorough cleaning. In fact, my daughter tells me, it cannot be left to a weekly cleaning but, in large measure, must be tackled every single day!
But I live here quietly and mostly by myself. I’m not a slob. I rarely spill much, if anything at all. And I always clean up after myself. I’m sort of fastidious if anything. I think I thought for almost forty years that most of the dust must have been my dear late wife’s fault. She was always moving, rarely sat for any periods of note, and always cooking up a storm. Does cooking cause dust?
So help me here: where o where does all this bloody dust come from?
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