Hello

When I say “Hello” some people, usually young people but not always, say “Hey”. It leaves me cold. Remember your mother chastising you that “Hay is for horses” or something like that. Is “Hello” so much more difficult to say. And we already have “Hi”. What’s the problem with that? A friend suggests that “Hey” is short for “Hey you”. Still leaves me cold. Sort of the way LOL makes me feel when texting.

As I ride my bike around America I usually say hello to people I pass or people coming the other way. Most say hello back. Two groups that never do: the stick thin semi-pro bicycle riders hunched over their handlebars traveling at 30 miles per hour in their little black one piece suits with the pain of their existence visible on their faces. After all, using breath to say hello might slow them down just enough not to set a new personal best for this run. And besides, I can see them think, you’re not a real bicycle rider. You are beneath me, a mere casual, conversational rider out for a spin, while I am preparing for the Tour du France or something similar in my mind.

The others unable to break off and say hello are the family members embroiled in the bicycling dispute of the day. Dad rented bicycles, money that could have been used to take mother out to eat. Mother is angry. Dad wants to bicycle around the island. Mother hasn’t bicycled since fourth grade. She wonders what’s wrong with the car. Doesn’t she do enough every day, picking up after his skinny ass, without this crap. Where are we going? It’s hot you know. I have to get back and make supper! God, now this old man flies by saying hello. I’ll give you a smack if you don’t shut up! Oops, oops, I’m going off the path…

Hello.