Jesus, Mary and Joseph at the Social Security office

I spent three hours waiting in the local Social Security office recently. I was there because the lady at the 800 number said I had to go since she could not resolve my problem, namely no longer getting a monthly check.

I had already tried the web page with no luck. The local SS manager had come to my Rotary Club in Nashua a couple of years ago and strongly recommended we do everything over the net. She said that SS had fewer employees that year than they had in 1960 and more people were retiring in a month today than they were then. Well, I tried to no avail.

I actually located a telephone number for my local SS office and called. The lady that eventually answered said that appointments were currently running out eight weeks. I could make an appointment and hope I lived that long or I could come in and take my chances.

I decided to head into the office.

I had actually waited in an SS office in Nashua, NH a few years back when I made my arrangements to collect Social Security. What I found locally was not dissimilar. The outer office looked like the reception area in a county lockup. You pressed some buttons on a computer screen then collected your number and sat down to wait.

The receptionist was locked up behind darkened glass, no doubt bullet-proof, and the seats were full of very odd looking folks. Not all, by any means, were elderly. My number was called, I explained what I thought might be the problem to the receptionist, and I was told to take a seat and wait until I could be called into the “inner sanctum” and meet with a specialist.

People fidgeted, some walked around, some held loud and confused conversations with the receptionist and each other. The security guard watched it all and occasionally rose to stand next to a particularly upset customer.

Who were all these people? It finally dawned on me after listening to a young fellow explain how he had to get rid of his sister as his SS payee because she refused to spend his money on the drugs he needed.

These folks are on Social Security Disability because they are crazy, alcoholics, and/or drug addicts. Seriously.

I would recommend Social Security be empowered to have nice offices with friendly staff for old people with problems with the old age pensions.  There could be other offices for the drug addicted and the crazy where people yell and scream and explain about the poisonous chemicals on their toilet seats put there by Martians.

It’s enough to make a guy consider aluminum foil for a hat!