I dream of...

For months after Martha died in July of 2007 I didn’t dream of her even once. I thought this was odd, to say the least. In my grief class that fall, people were always talking about seeing their late spouse, dreaming of him or her, talking to them.

Now, going on three years after her death, many nights I do dream of Martha. Well, the whole dream could be about something else entirely but she appears and plays some part in it. We even talk from time to time in these dreams although she tends to keep her part of the conversation to words of one syllable or so.

Sometimes she is running away or saying goodbye. Waking up the other morning I realized that I had to tell her something that occurred to me in my dream so I turned in the bed to her side. I actually thought for one tenth of a second that she would be there to hear it.

I’m probably regressing if that’s the right word. My grief doesn’t seem to be following a logical path. But it wouldn’t be the first time something in my life defied logic!